Love Wins Part 2

I wrote a piece a year ago for another blog about adoption....it's not always easy. It's down right hard work sometimes. Parenting the broken heart takes lots of patience and unconditional love....

Nevertheless, in the Talley house it’s also been a rough year and a half by adoptive-world standards: it’s been the year that she put it all together.

That she was left by her birth parents.

That she has a different story than the rest of the kids in the family.

I knew it was coming…all the questions I have no answers to-all the why’s, how’s, where’s. But I wasn’t ready for the ache in my heart. I wasn’t ready to watch her struggle through her emotions of the how’s, why’s, and where’s …..I wasn’t ready.

I found myself praying….asking Jesus how many times do I have to tell her she’s loved, safe, and wanted. How many times do I reassure her…how many times do I promise we’ll never leave her? And the answer over and over is “Until she gets it.”

Battling against an orphan spirit is tough and that orphan spirit can be a stinker….but it can’t stay where love is. It has to go when love invades. Little by little it loses ground. Every time I speak the truth of who she is…daughter, sister, friend…I’m taking a stand. The moment she was placed in my arms she became my daughter. Not an orphan, but a daughter! My daughter! Forever! And yes, sometimes, a lot of times, she needs reminding.

So to anyone who is an adoptive parent, I want to encourage you and tell you that love wins! Adoption wins! It may be a tough fight, but it will win! I’ve been in the trenches this year and can say I know what you are going through.

I know how weary you are.

I know it’s hard sometimes….or maybe right now all the time.

I know how it feels to have no words when faced with your child’s grief or anger. Not sadness…deep, heart breaking grief. Not just being mad….anger that comes in crashing and leaves behind a rumpled shell who was there. The kind that seems unreachable.

But Jesus….He can reach those places we can’t. He’s the only one who loves them more than we do.

Love wins. Every. Single. Time. Adoption trumps orphan in any match.

Keep pressing toward them with love as your weapon. Your child will get it. My child will get it. She will know in her heart of hearts that she is loved, safe and wanted.

She has to….because love wins…always.

Love Wins Part 1

The first time God pricked my heart to adopt was at the age if 16. Actually, he planted a dream in my heart to run an orphanage. I was working at Chick-Fil-a and had met Truit Cathy, the owner, at a function I had attended. He talked of the Ranch he owned that helped boys with no families. I remember boldly going up after and telling him I wanted to run an orphanage. I don't remember what he said or if he said anything. I just remember knowing in my heart of hearts I was called. And I had no clue what that looked like or the timing or the how.

 So I tucked it away and let it rest until I was 20 and was dating the love of my life. Standing outside in my parents front yard...talking of our future...children...how many? Boys? Girls? I said 6 kids, he laughed and said 2. I said adopt? He stood there an second and truthfully told me he couldn't see himself ever adopting because he didn't think he could love a child who wasn't his own.  And to my surprise the Lord gave me such a peace about it that I never gave it a second thought.

 Now fast forward 10 years....married ,with three biological kids later, the Lord gave this husband of mine a dream. A dream that matched mine. A dream so opposite of where he was years before. A dream of a sweet baby girl in China. A dream so vivid and real, he was instantly in love. And so my dream became our dream. My heart's desire became ours.

 The journey started in a young girls heart....but it sure didn't end there. It's amazing how God made everything come together. I never had to say a word. We started our journey to adopt our daughter in May 2005. And what a wild adventure it has been.....

Born That Way

I am a dreamer.....can't help it. I dream...All.The.Time. Day, night, afternoon, mid morning....doesn't matter,... I love to dream.

It's my time to just let my imagination go

And get this, I know most of them won't come true. Gasp!!! The thing is I am willing to risk getting my hopes(and dream) up......just to suspend reality for a few minutes. It makes me happy. It makes me feel alive inside.
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And I don't just dream for myself. I dream for my kids, husband, friends, church. All the what would happen if.....What would life be like.....I wish I could..... dreams....they are what keeps me hanging on. I don't have to know how to get there. I don't need to know the end game.

I just want my heart to wonder.

So here's to all my fellow dreamers out there....all you who have hopes that aren't fulfilled. Don't Stop! Don't stop thinking the glass is half full. Don't stop hoping for the impossible. It's ok to think outside of your reality. God made you to be a dreamer. Dreamers think beyond what is right in front of them. Dream Big!

 I love my life as a dreamer.....I can't help it....I was born that way.